Never Would Have Made It, Without Her...

I was her oldest grandchild, so she loved me the most right away. She played a huge part in raising me. She spoiled me so much that when she would get me ready for school, she let me sleep while she got me dressed, just because she didn't want to wake me. I spent the weekend's and summer vacations with her, and we would have a ball. We would watch old TV shows like, the Mary Tyler Moore show and the Apollo, she would let me wear her nightgowns, and she would load up on my favorite snacks so we could munch all night long. She was my first friend outside of my mother, and I could tell her anything and she never tell a soul. People would ask me, "Are you a mommas baby or a daddy's girl"? I would always say, "I'm actually a Granny's Girl"! Doris Jean was my grandmother and to me she was the strongest person I knew, still the most loving.

We had a bond like no other. My granny never took mess from anybody, she was very stern. She would always tell us, if somebody did this and that to me I would (go with your imagination) because she didn't play. In fact when somebody had to tell her something not so good, they would call me to tell her because I was the only person she never raised her voice to. On the flip side, she was one of the funniest people I have ever met. She would have us laughing for hours talking about her adventures growing up, or the loony people at her job. Anytime you wanted to hear a story or feel her love, you could go to her house and she would be sitting outside on her porch. As soon as I would pull into her driveway and see her, I felt at home because she was my heart.

She was the granny who would cook every body's favorite for the holiday's, or get you that one thing that you wanted most in the world, and she took pleasure out of taking care of her family. The day's when I was just at a lost, she would call and I didn't have to say much, she knew I wasn't myself. She would send for someone to come and pick me up, and she would pamper me until I was back to myself. One time at 20, I had gotten the Chicken Pox and nobody wanted to come near me, lol, she sent for me. She cooked for me, gave me oatmeal baths, rubbed my hair to relax me. She probably saved my face because I was scratching sooo bad!

Once I got married, she couldn't WAIT for me to have some babies! I would say "Granny women are waiting longer these days to start a family". She would just shrug her shoulders and say "Whatever, you better hurry up before it's too late". After awhile, it felt like all she wanted was for me to have some babies, and I would be like Oh My God Granny, just wait. :)

After I got married I moved to Georgia. I know my mother and the rest of my family was sad, but she never said anything to let me know that she was feeling the same. She would call me every other day and just talk to me for a hour and give me updates, and the way she told a story was so funny, I was always entertained. Once I moved away, I begin to realize how much of an impact she was in my life. Looking back at all the days sitting on the porch with her and hearing her words, I realized she was giving me a part of her. She was teaching me how to be a lady, a friend, a mother, so many of the great things she was. She taught my family how to look out for one another, love each other no matter what, and to never give up on each other.

So many wonderful things I could say about Doris Jean, but I want to get on with the 2 points of this story. My Granny passed away on her actual birthday December 18, 2008 she turned 68 that day. What happens when you take the bolder away that's holding up the other rocks? They start to move and shift around, because they are not stable. My family, we are adjusting, still, it's not easy. We are getting better each day!

1st thing, people would ask me if I have any fears. I would say yeah, that my grandmother would pass before I had kids, because I need her to be here to help me. Words and fears are powerful because in this case my fear came to pass. No I'm not saying that's why she passed on, but what I am saying, when we walk around putting fears up high we are opening ourselves up for them to happen. After she passed I was walking around saying, I'm living my greatest fear...but I'm still alive. Fears are not real! Fears are not real!

2nd thing is, I lost one of the most important people in my life and I know normally our first reaction is to be hurt, and angry, but after that wore off, I finally understood and appreciated the sacrifice Jesus made for us. God sacrificed his only son so that we can have everlasting life.... so that I can have everlasting life and see my grandmother again. I pray everybody who is reading this forms a relationship with Jesus. I have a peace in my heart because without him I would have lost my mind, seriously, because I don't know how I have made it since she left, if it were not becaus of God.

This was the last picture I took with her. Had I known it was going to be the last one, I would have been sitting in her lap and kissing her red face. The last time I saw her was in Sept '08, she was in the hospital. She kept staring at me, and I noticed it, I would look back at her and she just looked me in the eyes, she must have known that was going to be the last time she would see me. When I left her that day I sat next to her in her bed kissed her, she smiled, and we said our I love yous and I left. You never know when it will be the last picture you take with someone, or the last conversation, so now I try and leave on a good note :) I had almost 31 years with the best granny in the world, and I am so grateful. Thanks to GOD we will see each other again because neither one of us would have made it without HIM!

Death
1 Thessalonians 4:13,14
Revelation 21:4

Fear
Romans 8:29, 31, 35-39
2nd Timothy 1:7